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Missionary Dating: Reaching Someone through Dating
Some young people get into a romantic relationship with someone who is not even a Christian thinking that God is going to bless it. They figure God will understand; and if they get into trouble, He will get them out. There are 3 major reasons why teens date and how they rationalize dating non-Christians:
1. It's the Thing to do!
TV and movies glamorize the teen "love" relationships. There are hardly any genuine friendships between guys and girls because many times our self-esteem revolves around whether we are dating or not. As a result, we spend our time trying to impress the opposite sex. When a teen has a boyfriend or girlfriend, that is all you think about. If you don't have one, that is all you wish you had. This all revolves around the American myth that if you date you will be happy.
There is another issue involved with dating: your personal happiness. If you are not happy before you date, you will not be happy when you start to date! Let's save the trouble and find our happiness in Jesus! Let God show you that you are all right the way you are, without a romantic relationship. Only then will you be mature enough to handle a dating relationship.
2. Friendship and Fun
Many young people date because they want companionship and someone to hang out and have fun with. Is this a good enough reason to expose your heart and emotions to another? Many people underestimate the potential of a romantic relationship and the power it has to manipulate feelings and decisions. The fact is, once you start dating someone, you get so wrapped up in the emotions of the whole thing, that you forget all about real friendships most of the time. Don't worry about dating a non-Christian, go have fun with a bunch of friends that you don't have to worry about impressing. Enjoy being a teen without having to worry about getting your heart broken.
3. Potential Partner
The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 to not be yoked together with unbelievers. This Scripture is talking about friendships as well as romantic relationships. How radically committed are you to doing what is right no matter what this world or your friends say? We cannot afford to let anything slow us down or distract us. Dating an unbeliever, or someone who is not radically sold out to God, is definitely dead weight.
Many people try to "missionary date" and bring their dates to the Lord. Let me tell you, there are too many tragic endings to that story. To often they end up in a relationship, and even a marriage, that is lonely and unwhole because God is not in the middle of it.
Keep in mind as well that you could actually keep the person you are having a relationship from God because they are infatuated with you instead of getting serious about God! The devil could use your relationship with an unbeliever to totally mess up you relationship with the Lord. Don't take a chance or play with fire! Do it God's way. It is always the best!
How can I have a relationship with a God who is invisible?
If you could ask God one question, what would it be? How can God love me when I’ve done so much wrong? How do I know God is speaking to me? How can God be real and ignore all the bad things that happen? Teens are struggling with very difficult questions and doubts.
Look at some examples from the Bible where people had the same struggles and decided to trust in God. Judges 6:12-24, 36-40 is the story of Gideon and his test of faith. 1 Samuel 3 is Samuel’s struggle to listen to God. Fearful Elijah decides to trust in the Lord in 1 Kings 19 and Cornelius as well in Acts 10:1-23.
Living by Faith
Come up with three or four personal “statements of faith.” These might be things you believe about: God, about Jesus, about yourself, or about life in general.
Of course faith isn’t just about what you believe. It’s who you’re trusting in. Do some thinking about how your faith will impact your life.
Here are some examples of “statements of faith”:
- Some things we’ll never know until we get to heaven.
- God works things together for a good purpose, even if we don’t see it.
During the month of April, 180 will focus on God as “I Am”. In this series, we will offer hope and encouragement to teens from Scripture on their winding journey of faith.
2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT)
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
Sex: Seven Reasons to Wait
Teenagers are plagued with the notion that everybody is fooling around before marriage because T.V. shows and movies normalize this notion. You begin to feel it is weird or abnormal to wait for sex until marriage. Only the passionate and exciting part of sex is shown in the movie scene, not what happens to someone’s heart when they get involved in a sexual relationship outside of marriage.
God is looking for fired-up young people who love Him with all they’ve got and who will stand up for Him and live pure lives dedicated to Him. No longer should you ashamedly have to look down as if you are embarrassed for being a virgin. There are a lot of great reasons to stay pure. Here are seven practical reasons to wait for sex until marriage.
1. You could be dating your Pastor’s Wife!
When you are in a relationship, you need to take it seriously and think about the person you are dating as possibly being your future spouse. Even if you do not truly believe that you will eventually marry this person, they will be someone’s future spouse someday. Treat him or her the way you want your future husband or wife to be treated.
The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5:2 that we should treat younger women in the church as sisters with absolute purity. Your fellow brothers and sisters in the youth group all share the same Heavenly Father and therefore deserve respect.
2. Date ‘em and Hate ‘em
One of the primary reasons that teens date is to fulfill the desire for companionship. They are looking for good friends who care about them. They are fooled into thinking that the “farther I go with this person, the closer friends we will be.” This thinking actually does the opposite. Kissing becomes a substitute for real communication and before long; the more sexual involvement becomes a hope that makes you closer and you end up emptier than you began.
3. Looking for love in all the wrong places
Many people feel that if they could experience sexual intimacy, then they would find true love. In a desperate search for someone who cares, many have compromised their virtue. The love and acceptance that you desire cannot be found in a passionate moment of immorality. True love respects a person’s purity.
4. Can’t look ‘em in the eye
“Will he respect me in the morning?” is a common question asked by young girls if they are about to lose their purity. The answer is always NO, but the worst part is, you won’t respect yourself. Sex in the context of marriage is pure and holy with no shame as demonstrated in Genesis 2:25 and 3:7.
5. It’s a matter of life, death, and disease
We never think that we will ever contract an STD (sexually transmitted disease). Unfortunately, the fact is that 7,000 people die in the U.S. every year from an STD and at least one in every ten condoms is defective. You will not be one of these statistics if you follow God’s plan and wait till marriage.
6. Worth the Wait
God designed sex to be experienced only in the context of marriage. He knew it would take the love that only a lifelong commitment can bring to get the most satisfaction. Sex was God’s idea! God truly wants you to have an awesome sex life with no regrets or shame, but this pure intimacy can only be achieved in a marital relationship.
7. God said so!
The best reason to wait is because God said so! First Corinthians 6:19 says that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We have God living inside of us and we must flee from sexual immorality (1 Corin. 6:18). 1 Peter 2:11 tells us to abstain from sinful desires along with Romans 13:14. Don’t give it a chance to happen, don’t even think about it! Even if you don’t understand why, just obey God.
So what do you do if you’ve already been sexually active? Thankfully, Jesus still forgives. You must ask him to forgive you, and then you must repent. Put your foot down and say, “No more!” The more you fool around, the more it will mess up your head, your heart, and your marriage! The most important thing about being pure is your heart.
Salvation the Simple Way
Romans 10:9-10
”If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
Salvation by grace, not works
One of the first things a lifeguard has to do is help the victim calm down so he isn’t struggling against the efforts of the one who is trying to save him. Sometimes it take a blow to the head that either knocks the victim out or shocks him out of his panic so he can listen to the lifeguard’s instructions. If the victim struggles, or tries to help, it may endanger both his own life and the lifeguard’s. The best thing he can do is relax and let the expert in life-saving take over.
Jesus did everything needed to purchase our salvation. He paid the death penalty we deserve by dying in our place. It’s all done except our acceptance of the gift God has so graciously offered us.
You can receive Jesus into your heart right now. It’s so simple, you can hardly believe it. Just talk to God as if he were sitting right next to you. Tell him that you are sorry for breaking his standards of right actions and attitudes. Tell him that you believe Jesus is his Son and that he died for you. Ask him to forgive you and clean up your heart. If you’re sincere as you pray, you become a child of God forever the second you finish praying.
If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, try sharing Romans 10:8-10 with a friend who doesn’t yet know God. Before sharing, ask God to open your friend’s heart and mind to receive the wonderful gift of salvation. Show him/her right in the Scripture that all he/she has to do to have eternal life is believe and confess.
Today’s Prayer:
Dear Jesus, I thank you that you have made the plan of salvation so simple. I recognize that I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I do believe that you are the Lord and that God did raise you from the dead. I choose you as my Savior. I love you, Jesus. Amen.
Written by Martha E Menne, Flagstaff Arizona
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